


i'm like an alien in love, love, love

by iloveseiya



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: First Love, Fluff, Graduation, Introspection, M/M, post judgement, some requiem spoilers, tsukasa figuring out his complicated feelings for leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 23:15:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveseiya/pseuds/iloveseiya
Summary: "For the last time, Leo-san, I'm not an alien!""That's exactly what an alien in disguise would say, you know?"
Relationships: Suou Tsukasa/Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 96





	i'm like an alien in love, love, love

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still new to enstars and I'm still reading through the events so there might be some inconsistencies with the canon and for that I apologize (if it's some detail I can fix please let me know)...but overall it still wasn't going to stop me from writing this because I love leokasa ;;;  
This was written before ep 18 but I waited until the episode was out to post it :)  
Enjoy (hopefully)!
> 
> Title from [Tomas Skyldeberg - An Alien In Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UKyVhBs7ZA)

Suou Tsukasa didn’t know much about love, especially the romantic kind. 

He knew his parents must have been in love, he knew he was a product of that love - that’s what everyone always said - but he had never been much around them to ascertain if it was true. On the rare occasions they were with him, they were too busy fussing over Tsukasa's manners and conduct to look like an affectionate couple. 

Tsukasa wasn't as curious about marriage as much as he was about the process of falling in love, though, and for that he could only rely on his house staff’s gossip. His maids were always discussing scandalous affairs, so Tsukasa supposed he could ask one of them about it.

“Ohhh, _romance_?” Fumiko-san giggled looking at junior high student Tsukasa in front of her, setting momentarily aside the pile of laundry she was folding. “Isn’t it too soon for young master to ask about that? Did you get a cute girlfriend at school?”

Tsukasa shook his head in disgust: his current classmates didn’t interest him at all. 

“I’m merely asking to be informed about it. I suppose one day I will _ experience _ it too.”

“That’s true,” the woman mused, “One day our young master will meet a beautiful woman from another prestigious family and will fall in love with her, marry her and give the Suou household lots of cute heirs!”

Tsukasa blinked in confusion. “How will I know if the _ feeling _is love?”

He also wanted to know how exactly getting married led to having babies, but he still felt the sting from the time he asked his driver about it and had only been laughed at in response.

Fumiko-san gave him a very sweet answer instead: “It’s the easiest thing in the world. Once it happens, you will know: your heart will beat faster, your beloved will look perfect to you and you will be happier than you’ve ever been before, you might fall for the person as soon as you see them!”

_Love at first sight_. Tsukasa was aware of the famous english term, but just because he knew rationally what it meant, it didn’t mean he believed it was actually true.

He was only 12 then, so assuming he still had a lot of time before he had to be concerned about love and romance in his life, Tsukasa put that info aside for further inspection in the future.

It turned out he didn’t need to worry about it until he started high school.

Soon after Tsukasa met Anzu, he recalled Fumiko-san’s words about meeting a beautiful woman, falling in love with her and getting married. Onee-sama wasn’t the rich beauty Fumiko-san probably envisioned in her fantasies of Tsukasa’s future, but no one could be that perfect, right?

Still, there was no crazy heartbeat in Tsukasa’s chest when he looked at her, just a pleasant thrum. Even if onee-sama’s presence always made him happy and he wanted to be with her as much as possible, Tsukasa could recall being just as happy bonding with his Knights senpai, and, as much as he cared for them and hoped the four of them could get even closer in the future, he was most definitely _ not _ in love with any of them.

So maybe that wasn’t what love was, but just what they called a _crush_.

Until one day...Their king came back.

Tsukasa had wanted to meet him since forever, had built so many fantasies about the gallant person their king must’ve been: surely someone capable of composing such remarkable songs had to be just as impressive, right?

It must’ve been why, after jumping up and down, trying hard to look past Sena-senpai and Narukami-senpai’s shoulders, Tsukasa’s heart skipped a beat upon seeing those longish red hair and bright green eyes, his cheeks coloring in awe of the person before him.

Something dropped down in his stomach, like a 5 yen coin thrown in a saisen box as a good luck prayer. Perhaps Tsukasa might have asked himself what was that even about, if the moment hadn’t ended up abruptly as soon as the King spoke to him. 

“You must be an alien, huh? Ucchuu!” Tsukinaga Leo said and Tsukasa lost all the admiration for him in an instant.

This was their _leader_? This was the person they were waiting for so long?

What a huge _disappointment_.

Despite the already rough start, things between them became even worse: the king clearly didn’t think Tsukasa was fit to be part of Knights and Tsukasa didn’t think Leo Tsukinaga was even remotely capable of being their unit leader.

He had to fight tooth and nail against him to keep his place and to keep their mad king from destroying the legacy he had built in the past just for a whim.

Tsukasa won against their leader in the judgement battle, but being in his same unit, in his same kyudo club, was a serious problem that drove him to stress eating multiple times and getting scolded by Sena-senpai.

"Huh? Who are you?" Leader kept asking him, like he couldn’t be bothered to remember his name or who he was, but Tsukasa was undeterred. It just meant he'd have to keep showing Leader that even if Tsukasa Suou was a newbie, he wasn’t a burden for the group, but a new resource.

Leader was irresponsible, but incredibly talented and full of knowledge. Tsukasa had the urge to know everything about him, to study him, to absorb everything he could from him like a sponge and make it his own.

Sometimes Tsukasa couldn't answer the simple question of "Do I want to be beside him or do I want to be _him_?" 

Maybe it was just embarrassing to admit that he wanted both. When it came to Leader, Tsukasa became greedy, he wanted _everything_. 

He rose to the challenge of becoming the next King and after a series of unexpected twist and turns, he was the winner.

Leader handed Tsukasa the crown he wanted so much, stepping down the throne as just Leo-san.

Tsukasa told himself there was no need to yearn for more: he had everything Leader used to have, why couldn't his heart settle down? 

If Leader was an enigma, Leo-san was a puzzle Tsukasa was slowly but surely putting together.

If Leader was a sparkling being full of flaws and darkness, Leo-san was the person who smiled unrestrainedly and claimed to love all of his Knights.

Leader and Leo-san were one and the same, but also two different people to Tsukasa.

He had shouted his resentment for Leader so many times in the past, but what did he feel for Leo-san?

That was a big can of worms he wasn’t ready to open up yet.

_It can't be love, right? No way. _

He wished he had asked more details about being in love, years ago, so he could squash those doubts once and for all. He wished he had the courage to ask for more, now that the concept didn’t seem as far away from his reach as before. 

Did it really have to be with a beautiful, rich girl? After learning more about people and the outside world during his first year at Yumenosaki, Tsukasa knew that sometimes boys could love other boys and that was okay, even if it seemed absurd to him at first. 

Did it really have to be grandiose and perfect? Because he only felt clumsy and inexperienced handling his blossoming feelings, never quite sure whether he felt love, hate, admiration or need to be acknowledged at any given time. 

Did love have to be just happiness? Because the more Tsukasa explored the word in his terms, the more he found it hurt.

It hurt when Leader didn’t listen to him, too absorbed with composing and his bursts of inspiration, it hurt when he didn’t take Tsukasa seriously, it hurt when Leader got lost and Tsukasa couldn’t find him, it hurt when Tsukasa found him laying down somewhere and for a few seconds he couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive, it hurt when he made Tsukasa doubt if he was unnecessary in Knights and it hurt when Leader told him he loved him before he said the same exact thing to someone else.

But Leo-san was also the kind person who would watch over Tsukasa, the person who would sometimes surprise him with his sudden thoughtfulness and was capable of making him happy with a simple, careless word, just like at graduation. 

Tsukasa waited after the graduation ceremony to see his senpai one last time. Around him third year students were hugging and patting each other on the back: some were laughing, some were crying, but the atmosphere was overall pretty cheery.

Tsukasa wasn’t too worried about the future: Knights would go on, that’s what they promised each other. They would all always find a place in each other’s lives and keep working together to bring joy to their fans, but Sena-senpai and Leo-san wouldn't be in the same school as the others anymore. 

Sena-senpai wouldn’t ask him to go find Leader, Tsukasa wouldn’t get to be trained by them everyday during intensive lessons, he wouldn’t need to carry notebooks and pens with himself so Leader wouldn’t scribble on walls, and while that reassured him, it also made him a bit anxious about the future.

_ It’s okay, I’ll be okay, I can do this. _

“What is it, Suo~ are you talking to aliens? Introduce them to me if that’s the case!”

Tsukasa straightened up, blushing because he had muttered those encouragements out loud, just in time to see Tsukinaga Leo emerge from the crowd behind them. 

Tsukasa could see his Knights onii-sama a few meters away too, but it looked like he hadn’t been spotted in return: Sena-senpai was busy trying to fasten his third year green tie around Ritsu-senpai’s neck while the other let out a huge yawn and Narukami-senpai giggled in mirth.

Apparently, Leo-san and him were going to be alone for a while, which both unsettled and excited him.

“Lea-ehm, Leo-san, there are no aliens for you to meet here.”

“Really?” Leo-san grinned, looking Tsukasa up and down. The younger boy felt his cheeks grow even hotter under the playful stare. 

“When I saw Suo~ the first time, I thought you were an alien.”

“I remember.” Tsukasa grumbled, still displeased. A part of him was pleasantly surprised Tsukinaga Leo even remembered their first meeting in some ways. He thought he hadn’t made any impact on his senior and had only been noticed by him after months of pestering him and working hard to uphold the Knights' chivalrous standards.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m a normal human being.”

“I never thought you were normal.” Leo-san objected candidly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Tsukasa blurted out in response.

“Wahahaha! Relax Suo~, normal is boring, why would you want to be like that? Extraordinary people, geniuses like me, are those who leave their mark on this earth!”

If that was what Leo-san meant, then Tsukasa agreed. He didn’t want to be common, he didn’t want to be boring, he wanted to leave his own mark on the world, but that didn’t come easy to him as it came to Leo-san, a person full of raw talent and brilliance.

Tsukasa had to work hard every step of the way to be able to be on the same stage as him. That was a task he was more than willing to take on, but he wasn’t as foolish as when he started high school the previous year: he knew his second year at Yumenosaki would be full of hardships, especially because the amazing and frustrating person in front of him wouldn’t be there and neither would Sena-senpai.

“I’ll do my best to live up to your expectations.” Tsukasa said puffing out his chest full of pride.

Leo-san nodded, satisfied. “I wouldn’t expect any less from you, Suo~. But I wasn’t just talking about the future, you know? You did plenty of extraordinary things this year alone!”

Tsukasa blinked multiple times: “Did I? Well I suppose becoming an unit _ leader _ before my first year was officially over is quite _ impressive_, but...”

“I didn’t mean that, I meant with us, with me.” Leo-san stepped closer, putting his hands on Tsukasa’s shoulders to stress the point. “You saved me!”

Tsukasa cursed his traitorous heart for skipping a beat and leaving him breathless, but he could do nothing other than be swept away by the energy and enthusiasm of his senior.

“When I came back to Yumenosaki, I wanted to destroy everything in the same way I had been destroyed before, I didn’t care anymore!” Leo-san got closer and closer to Tsukasa’s face, unaware of the internal earthquake his junior was experiencing. “But this annoying pipsqueak wouldn’t stop challenging me, questioning everything I said and throwing it back to my face!”

“I’m not sure if that’s an _ insult _ or a _ compliment _…” Tsukasa said, already fed up with being shaken.

“You were so irritating, but you also made me see there was another path! A path full of light, full of smiles and love.”

Leo-san stressed that word like he knew exactly what it meant and Tsukasa silently begged him to tell him what that was. 

_ Is love the knot that is crushing my chest right now, making it hard to breathe? What do I do with it? Can I stop it? Can I control it? _

“It’s thanks to you that all of us Knights can thrive and can keep walking along that bright road in the future. You did that naturally, without even meaning to, because that’s just what you are, Tsukasa Suou!”

Tsukasa gulped, feeling pinpricks of tears burn in his eyes, but he held them in: he had to grow up, he had to become even stronger to be able to match the incredible person in front of him and not disappoint the other Knights as a leader. 

Leo-san, usually infuriating and with his head stuck in the clouds, seemed to notice Tsukasa’s reaction and his gaze became softer. He just held Tsukasa's shoulders without shaking him this time. 

"You didn't fool me though, I know behind that pretty face of yours there's an alien in disguise!" 

Tsukasa tried not to focus too much on the 'pretty' because he knew that was just how Leo-san was, throwing compliments left and right without thinking too much about them. The past months spent together had taught him that much, but it was difficult not to feel a bit lightheaded when his former leader's natural scent was the only thing filling his nostrils. 

"For the last time, Leo-san, I'm not an alien!" 

"That's exactly what an alien in disguise would say, you know?" Leo-san insisted but Tsukasa's glare made him retreat with a loud laugh, interrupting their point of contact. 

Tsukasa missed the warmth seeping through his uniform, but by separating from Leo-san he could also feel a bit of sanity come back. 

Seriously, those feelings were nothing but trouble. Fumiko-san failed to mention that as well...

"I wish there was a way to repay you, that's all." Leo-san said, crossing his arms against his chest and Tsukasa looked at him, baffled. 

He supposed he'd always fall a step behind Leo-san and that's what kept Tsukasa hopelessly hooked to the need of figuring him out, to close that distance. 

And what more could Leo-san - who had already entrusted everything to Tsukasa, including his beautiful songs, hopes and dreams - give him? 

Tsukasa's face burned, but he decided he still wanted to make one last selfish request. He was a spoiled young master after all. 

"There is something I want." 

"What, what?" Leo-san approached him again with a glint in his eyes, "Spill it, Suo~" 

"The second button of your jacket." Tsukasa fought hard to keep his voice steady and his eyes firm on Leo-san's kaleidoscope of expressions. 

He hoped Leo-san, always so busy composing and ranting about famous operas and authors, wouldn't know about such a silly custom. Even Tsukasa had been surprised to see it happen: giving your second uniform button to someone you like seemed such a foolish tradition, one he never thought he would partake in, but there he was, asking his former leader to give his button to him.

Leo-san went through a myriad of emotions too, it seemed, but in the end he showed Tsukasa a Cheshire cat smirk, appearing a little flushed. 

"Ohhh, what for?" 

"I-I just want a keepsake, that's all!" Tsukasa was quick to explain. 

"Can't it be the first button?" 

"No! It has to be the second!” Tsukasa insisted, then he frowned, because he didn't want to force him: “Did you want to give it to someone else?" 

"No," Leo-san laughed, "Jeez, you're so pushy Suo~" 

He tugged at the second button of his Yumenosaki uniform on the very last day he was going to wear it. Once Leo-san was done removing it, he gestured for Tsukasa to open his left hand, wordlessly putting the button in his palm and using both of his hands to curl Tsukasa’s fingers around it. 

Tsukasa felt a thrill when their hands touched, a quiet gasp lodged in his throat. 

"Make sure to take good care of it." Leo-san told him gleefully but with a tinge of wistfulness in his voice. "My second year at Yumenosaki was the worst of my life, I made a lot of mistakes and ran away, but that doesn't have to be the same for you, Suo~. You're strong and you have true comrades helping you. I believe you can change things for the better."

"I will," Tsukasa swore an oath of loyalty to his former King and for a few lingering seconds Leo-san's warm hands stayed wrapped around Tsukasa's, green and violet reflecting each other.

In that moment Tsukasa understood he never quite wanted to be exactly like Leader. He wanted to surpass him, to be his own version of a good and just King, and simple admiration wasn't what spurred him on all this time, because simple admiration wasn't the reason for the longing he felt.

Tsukasa wanted to tell him so many things, wanted to ask him so much about his past, wanted to defeat so many more hurdles by his side, wanted to yell out his jumbled feelings in hope to make sense of them, but it was time to say goodbye, at least temporarily. 

"Leo-san, I…" 

"There you are, you two!" Narukami-senpai finally approached them, followed by Sena-senpai and Ritsu-senpai. 

Tsukasa and Leo-san's hands separated immediately and Tsukasa both cursed and thanked his seniors' impeccable timing, because as he clutched Leo-san's second button tightly in his hand, pulse racing, he still had no idea what he had been about to confess just then. 

"Congratulation on your graduation, Sena-senpai!" Tsukasa rushed to say. 

“Thank you, Kasa-kun.”

"Ehhh, not fair Suo~ How come you congratulated Sena before me?" 

"Izumi-chan wants to go to the studio for one last day of practice together, what do you guys think?" Narukami senpai interrupted them. 

"_Marvelous_!" Tsukasa exclaimed. 

“I’m tired…” Ritsu-senpai protested weakly but Leo-san spurred them on: "Great idea, Sena! Let's go, let's go!" 

Tsukasa trailed after his senpai, cherishing the small inconsequential moment of school routine he'd surely remember fondly in the future without them. His fist was still closed around the button clutched to his chest, Leo-san’s touch seared in his knuckles. 

He listened absent-mindedly to his seniors’ chatter until he heard Sena-senpai ask: "Huh? Where did your button go, Leo-kun?" 

"Uh, that…" Leo-san scratched his head. 

"Ara, ara~Ousama did you give your second button to someone? So romantic!" Narukami-senpai swooned. 

So much for Tsukasa’s strategy of pretending the button didn't mean anything...

"I should've given mine to Yuu-kun too!" 

"Oh, Izumi-chan…" 

"Who did you give it to?" Ritsu-senpai suddenly looked more awake and interested. Even from behind them, Tsukasa could sense the expectant stare fixed on Leo-san. 

Tsukasa tensed up. He was so embarrassed he could die.

Surely Leo-san wouldn't tell them… 

"Well, you see Rittsu, the cutest alien I've ever seen asked me for it, I couldn't say no to that, right?" 

Tsukasa’s heart was about to explode, torn between reading more into Leo’s words and feeling outraged because: _ I’m not an alien! _

“Which means he probably lost it somewhere, sooo annoying,” Sena senpai concluded, unconsciously saving Leo and Tsukasa from Ritsu senpai’s inquisitiveness.

Or at least that's what Tsukasa thought until Ritsu-senpai looked from Leo-san to Tsukasa’s clenched fist with a smirk, licking his lips languidly and showing a flash of his fangs: “Did he, now…”

Tsukasa hurriedly shoved the button in his pocket and got closer to the other members of his unit: “We should hurry up, senpai, or the school will close before we finish our _ rehearsal._”

The rest of Knights agreed and they walked faster, until Narukami senpai started running ahead of them, and the others tried to keep up with the formidable track and field club member.

Tsukasa thought about how heavy the button in his pocket seemed: it didn’t weight almost anything, but it suddenly made the swirling bundle in his chest feel more genuine, more real.

The sentiment he would call love wasn’t at all like Fumiko-san had described it. He didn't know how to define it yet, but when he looked at Leo-san’s ponytail swinging back and forth as he laughed and ran with his Knights, he knew Fumiko-san had been right about one thing at least.

_I felt it from the very first moment I saw you. _


End file.
